No, i ain't talking about either of Lemony Snickett's version of "A Series of Unfortunate Events". But instead, i was talking about some unfortunate events that had happened to me on last Friday - Monday. In a real life, not in a some scripted world dispersed by talents upon the screen.
I'm not a supertitious man, and never been. But somehow i wondered myself did i woke up on the wrong side of the bed that Friday morning? Well, actually it was soothing to had someone (or in this case, something) to put your fingers at, to take the blame of whatever misfortune that follows. But again, i'm not a supertitious man, and never been.
I'm not sure when, but after a light breakfast that Friday morning, i felt something funny in my stomach. The mere feeling was slowly but surely climbed itself into a real terror on the afternoon, when i had to go to bathroom once in every ten minutes and literally - pardon my language - shitting liquid. And that was just beginning.
As some of you may have known, i was always a sloppy person. I had an above average tendency to give whatever things in my hand to the power of gravity. I had an experience to drop things - accidentally, which usually followed by a total inconsideration that i had things on the ground instead of held in hands - such as Hand-Phone, Wallet, Money, Computer Hard-Drive, Helmet, Keys, Water, Coffee, Mug, A Bowl of rice, and so forth. On some cases, i also tend to forget that i had dropped that thing, and that what had happened on Monday.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. On those four days, while struggling to stay away from the bathroom as long as possible - which was futile - i dropped a lot of things. I spilled a whole cup of coffee on the keyboard (both at home and campus), spilled a whole glass of water to the manuscript i've been working on, and as long as i remembered, i've always spilled some water whenever i poured drinking-water from the dispenser. Never before i had so many series of spilling on so short of time-span. Luckily, i didn't spilled myself while riding my motor.
Monday. I had planned to went to the mall, to do some grocery-shopping. So that afternoon, i got to the mall, parked my motor at the very usual spot (i've already had a usual spot at the plaza and Gramedia, as well) and do some shopping. Well, i didn't just shop. After about half-hour browsing the aisles and bought things which roughly 60% of them were un-necessaries, i sat on one of the fast-food restaurant to grab something to eat (again, i sat on the very usual spot). Half-way through i felt my pockets and after rustling with the content for a while, i found myself bemused when i only found one set of key-chain instead of two. So, which one is missing? it was the key to my motor, parked only one story below.
"There goes my bike", i say to myself at the time. With an hour passed since i parked my motor in the basement, i almost sure that the key had dropped in the vicinity of where my motor was parked and therefore, when i got to the basement, i would find a vacant on the usual spot (where i've always parked my motor whenever i went to the mall, remember?). So with an exact same pace, i finished my meal, and went to the basement.
I wouldn't lie about my feeling, even though i felt so calm and almost sure that the bike won't be there, but when i found that the bike was still there i felt a giant boulder weighed at least a ton sliding away from my shoulder. But almost that instant, the revelation that either the founder of the key didn't know which bike it belongs to or he simply waited for a chance to took it away, both of which resulted in keeping my bike to where it was (the usual spot), had made my heart pumps twice maybe thrice faster. I had a spare key for the bike of course, but obviously i had left it at home. So, as fast as i could i had to get home, took the key and back here before the founder of the key either had found the bike it belongs to or had decided to took his chance.
Analogous to "Janji Joni" or more relevant, "Run Lola Run", to my point of view, on that afternoon, everybody seemed to had a non-disclosure conspiracy to slow me down, i found myself cursing steadily in my head, tapping my feet like i had a whole pint of caffeine, mumbling indistinctively, glaring a rage look to the drivers, the passengers, yelling to the 'ojek' driver to drive faster, and so forth. The voyage back to mall was even worse, you know the traffic in Depok at the evening hour? it was unbearable! even humming a tune from Dream Theater won't help my nervousness, and my ever steady cursing. But at last, after literally shoving many slow-walkers that climbed the crossing-bridge, and at least once, by accident, i let the word "Osoi" (Japanese for "Slow" which i've always used to yell - in mind - at those slow-walkers that often blocked the road) audible, i came to the mall. And it was a great relief to see the usual spot hadn't been occupied by another bike.
After knowing and settling to fact that my key had positively gone after i made a thorough search on the area, and assuming the worse that whoever found the key had marked my bike so when someday he found it, he would surely going to 'steal' it, i went to the plaza straight away to bought an extra padlock - not just one, but two! well, talking about paranoia - and also on impulse, after that shocking experience, i felt that i had all the rights to pleased myself. So i went for Pizza - take away order - while pretend i didn't heard the screaming from somewhere in my back pocket. On second thought, i didn't pretend didn't heard the screaming, i simply didn't heard it screams.
I went to the Pizza booth first, i was shocked when the cashier mentions the price. What the __ ? it was so expensive! i didn't tought that it would be so expensive, but i paid for it anyway. Now, folks, i had to admit that at the time i've been a victim to maybe the most vicious monster that laid dormant on every human-being, 'greed'. It was terrible. So, the Pizza settled, that leaves the padlock. Or padlocks, since i bought two.
In a matter of minutes i found what i'm looking for. I grabbed for two and without even taking a peek to the price tag, i went to the cashier. At the time, i felt that my luck has tilted its way back to normal when i see two cashier-aisles lined with people with their shoppings. But these two doesn't interest me, there's one aisle that apparently just about to open. Obviously, i went there, and found myself first in line.
People dont realize when they had made mistake until they suffer the consequences. I had made a grave mistake when i didn't even bother myself to peek into the price tag of the padlocks, and how i'm suffer! The money in my wallet doesn't cover the padlocks, but i know that the money on my bank-account would be more than enough. So i paid with my card, or at least tried to. It turns out that even my card won't let me end the day peacefully. The card-reader on the cashier didn't want to read my card! And after the third swipe, i said to the sympathetic lady-cashier (whose probably the first fortune i had during the day) to postpone my purchase until i came back from the ATM.
The misfortune continues! I was more surprised than angered when i found that every single ATM Machine (every single ATM Machine that could read my card, and there are at least three different machines on the basement that could do it) are down for one or another reason. What a tragedy. So i went upstair to the ATM Machine near the Pizza booth, thankfully it worked. But before i got the cash out of the ATM, i found myself on a moral battle between me and the evil-me. There was this lady in front of me when i got to the ATM. She was i guess in some kind of undecisive condition, her mind was obviously somewhere else, she had finished her transaction in a flash, and still looking dubious to herself she walked away. I was frowned to the question on the screen "Do you wish to have another transaction?" and soon realized that the lady's card was still inside. The evil-me had immediately took place in my consciussness, he urges me, insisting me to press the "Yes" button encouraging me to nag one-two millions (if there any) from the lady's card and bought that Nintendo Dual-Screen (which costs 1,3 mills rupiah) i had really wanted. But, fortunately, i guess, the real-me (don't laugh) won't give up easily, he fought fiercely, and resulted in maybe the second fortune i had that day, as i ran to the lady and handed her card back.
Okay, got my Pizza, got the padlocks (did i tell you that they were soo expensive?), i could went home joyfully. Am i? or am i not? They say, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. When i did my grocery-shopping, i also bought a voucher to my hand-phone, and when i had a meal after the shopping, i rubbed the black marker of the voucher, dialed the 888 number and inputted 14 digits of code appeared on the voucher. Well, that, folks, is what happened if my battery doesn't went dead. When i punched the 888 number, my battery went dead, and it was too troublesome for me to input the 14 digits to the dark screen. So, i had turned off my hand-phone, and tucked the voucher card somewhere.. which still remains a mystery to me since when i got home, one question had been remained unanswered. "Where the hell was that voucher?".